Thirty Days - Day two

Well...Day two is upon me, and for day one, I think I did pretty well! I mean I didn't exercise, and I don't think I will for about a week, because I'm just getting the feel of this whole diet thing.

Yesterday I had the following things to eat:
Breakfast - nothing

Lunch - Salad, Turkey sandwich, Berry Koolaid, with a side of vegetables and ranch dipping.

Dinner - A Fabulously made chicken & pasta entree, with milk and salad. Portion: One piece of chicken and small bowl of salad with ranch dressing.

Snack - Crackers and yogurt with koolaid

Today I had:
Breakfast - 1 bowl of cereal (Frosted Flakes) and 2 cups of coffee.

Lunch - probably nothing

Dinner - it's only 3. So I don't know yet.

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I know that's not all that exciting to read, but I needed to log it out so I know what I'm eating. When I go to the fridge or to open a cabinet to scrounge up something to eat, I'm finding that, even two days in, I'm trying to be a little bit more healthy.

Before this thirty day plan, I would have had 3 bowls of cereal for breakfast, frozen pizza or even popcorn for lunch and then fast food for dinner, and popcorn for a snack. Now I feel so much better knowing that I'm watching what I eat, and how often I eat.

For the work out part...I think I'll start to go on walks after dinner or something to that extent, but it just has to be fun, and something I don't need a car or money to get to. Either way I need to start doing it.

Well...
That's been a two day count of the thirty day program!

Signed,
A Fabulous Gay Man
Queen Trixie Jeremie Donald the First

Thirty Days

Well, come Thursday, July will be in full bloom. We all know this means many different things for many different people. For me it means approximately 30 more days of summer freedom. Well 30 days and then how many more days after that in august untill school starts.


Now I figured I could do a few things with this time: Write some stories, get a tan, etc. etc.
But what I really wanted to do, I remind myself scoldingly, is lose weight. Oh sure, I've heard that before. I've told myself every summer that I'm going to lose weight...and it hasn't happened. So summer after summer Carissa doesn't fail to remind me that I'm still a 'big one' or 'Ogre'.


So instead of having that last Will & Grace marathon, attempt at a man-tan, or even waking up every day at noon, I've decided that I'm going to challenge myself


I have Thirty Solid Days. Thirty solid days of nothing ahead of me. Yeah sure i'll get invited to a few parties, and there's that family vacation coming up soon, but that's what'll help keep the challenge fresh and interesting, and keep me on my toes.


Here's the plan, in case anyone wants to join me.


Dieting:

Dieting is an important part of any exercise regime. It not only speeds up results, but it helps get you into shape, even if your body is thin already. My diet will consist of simple properties, that will colaberate together to help with the weight-loss agenda.

• Small portions - Eating smaller portions at restaurants and at home, will help in the long run. Restaurants or fast food joints often offer smaller proportioned meals for those who can't handle the bigger size. Or in the case of fast food, they offer small sizes. Now all I have to do is just order the smaller size at fast food restaurants and for the dine-in ones, just eat my fill and no more. No pointless overstuffing.
• Making Healthy Choices - Instead of that frozen pizza, or even that whole bag of popcorn I usually grab for when snacking, a light snack consisting of fruit, yogurt, or even granola bar would be a WAY better choice. They are not only more healthy but come in a better portion size package. Not only are you eating healthy, but you're eating healthy with small portions. Which, by the way, is what a SNACK consists of.
• Liquids - Most of the time when out at restaurants, which nowadays is quite often, I will usually order some sort of soft drink beverage (coke or pepsi) But by choosing water most of the time, and milk and juices the rest of the time I will considerably help the dieting process.

Now for the exercise regime. This is not one I will be able to follow at all times, but the following guidelines do help.

You see, I only have thirty some odd days to get down to a size 34 (at the very very least; 32 at the most) and I am currently in between sizes 36/38. So, in order to do this right and get the results I want, I have to be working constantly at it...NO slacking off!

• Some sort of Aerobic exercise, or any activity, that gets my heart rate up and makes it stay up for a LIMITED time of 30 minutes.
• Weight Training - This helps in ANY weight loss program. Weight training not only builds muscle but helps the fat burning process immensly.
• Toning exercises - When losing weight one must always remember to tone their muscles. If not you will be left with the flabby leftovers of fatty days. You do NOT want that to ruin the glow of a newly thinned out and awesome body.
• REQUIRED: Must do ALL of the above through the week at the very MINIMUM of once.

This is my thirty day challenge. Not only to myself...but to you as well. If you are also tired of looking at yourself in the mirror and only doing the bare minimum, then this is the thing for you. Besides I could use a little support.

I know it's not going to be easy, especially with my goals being so time-oriented, but I'm going to attempt this. To make it easier for me, I'm going to create a forum. For all those participating in the challenge to post in. I'll also be tracking my progress through here.

Forum link:
http://thirtydays.proboards22.com/

For those competing in the challenge, they can come here, and share tips, information, and strategies. Also just to talk about their life and how their weight has affected their lives.

Until next post,

Signed,

A Fabulous Gay Man

Queen Trixie Jeremie Donald the first

Thinking

I'm just thinking tonight.
And maybe that's a bad thing.

Tonight, while over at my friend Andrea's house I came across a picture of this guy I used to really like. In fact I think he was the only guy, in my life so far, that I've come close to loving.

I felt the most horrible stab of longing when I looked into his eyes in the picture. Longing to go back in time and stay there forever. A time when I thought he loved me, and I thought we were going to date and be happy for a long while. A time where I felt wanted. In fact...one of the few times in my life that I have.

Is it wrong? To want him still, when he was so cruel to me in the end. So non-attached, and like I was his play thing to throw away at will.

I see people, like a dear friend of mine, become consumed with their first love. The person they truly gave their heart to, is exactly the person they refuse to let go of.

I look at people like that and I don't want to be that person. I don't want to base every one of my future relationships off that one person. I don't want to live my life in that period of time, one which is long gone.

But...but I don't want to forget it either. As painful as it was for me, it's the reason I'm the person I am today.

Yes that may not be a great thing because as yesterday's entry points out, I have my flaws, but I realize that though I'm not perfrect, I never will be. My flaws are not what define me, they are merely a part of the whole person I am.

Without the experience, I would still be that...that freshman child who looks at the world and at love, as romantic notions where there are no tomorrows and no days of pain and tears. Without the experience I would be living a lie.

In his eyes I was flawed, I...didn't meet his standards. Hell I don't meet my own standards. But I can use that I think. I can use that as a striving point to make myself everything he didn't think I could be.

And that is something I never want to forget...Something I may even learn to cherish and look back on nad think...WoW...I did it. I've become who I wanted to be.

So Is it wrong to miss him? No. It only serves to remind me of what I don't need.

Until next time.

Loving you,

Signed,

A Fabulous Gay Man

Queen Trixie J.D. the First

Me, Myself, and a Mirror

Lately, I've been in summer mode. I promised myself that I would work on everything this summer...hygeine, weight, personality...everything. So far I've accomplished nothing.
Tonight I had an awakening. One that I truly did not want, nor did I see coming. My family had pizza tonight for dinner, and as I got done eating I felt that there wasn't enough pepsi for anyone to care so I took the bottle down to my room. Crystal said she wanted some pepsi but she sort of said it in a bad way.
By the end of the argument we inevitably got in, I felt tottally perplexed about how we got there. We were talking about me and how I act. My arrogance, my selfishness, all of it...people notice those things and have problems with it. What I don't understand is...why I can't see these things myself. I desperatly want to because I don't want to end up like Andy, where most everyone talks about him behind his back and hate him. Yes, I have a big head about myself, and I don't feel bad about that. I won't. But...there were things said by Suzie and other people (whom she didn't name) that I realize is true, and didn't realize I did. It's true for example that I go to Suzie's house and eat her food and then don't put things back and then don't think her. I can make excuses, like her telling me and crystal that we can come in and so just that because we're lik her surrogate children. But I won't. Because even if she did so, I realize that I do take advantage of that.
All I want to do right now is crawl into a crevice, or lock myself in my room, and do the world a favor and never come out. But...when talking to a friend. A true, good, dear friend of mine, she said this about my feelings towards myself:

"Sometimes you just have to realize, you're the only one who controls your life, and not everyone can turn you into someone you arn't, no matter what they say... Some people might complain, but you know, if people weren't different, then where would we be? Thats the great thing about friendship, although we have our likes and dislikes about eachother, we still care enough about eachother to ignore the bad and love the good!"

I was astonished. Someone who I have been through hell and back with still finds it in her to love me today after everything said and done to eachother.

I realize that I do need to work on some of those things, but at the same time, I am me...

And that's the best part about myself.