Me, Myself, and a Mirror

Lately, I've been in summer mode. I promised myself that I would work on everything this summer...hygeine, weight, personality...everything. So far I've accomplished nothing.
Tonight I had an awakening. One that I truly did not want, nor did I see coming. My family had pizza tonight for dinner, and as I got done eating I felt that there wasn't enough pepsi for anyone to care so I took the bottle down to my room. Crystal said she wanted some pepsi but she sort of said it in a bad way.
By the end of the argument we inevitably got in, I felt tottally perplexed about how we got there. We were talking about me and how I act. My arrogance, my selfishness, all of it...people notice those things and have problems with it. What I don't understand is...why I can't see these things myself. I desperatly want to because I don't want to end up like Andy, where most everyone talks about him behind his back and hate him. Yes, I have a big head about myself, and I don't feel bad about that. I won't. But...there were things said by Suzie and other people (whom she didn't name) that I realize is true, and didn't realize I did. It's true for example that I go to Suzie's house and eat her food and then don't put things back and then don't think her. I can make excuses, like her telling me and crystal that we can come in and so just that because we're lik her surrogate children. But I won't. Because even if she did so, I realize that I do take advantage of that.
All I want to do right now is crawl into a crevice, or lock myself in my room, and do the world a favor and never come out. But...when talking to a friend. A true, good, dear friend of mine, she said this about my feelings towards myself:

"Sometimes you just have to realize, you're the only one who controls your life, and not everyone can turn you into someone you arn't, no matter what they say... Some people might complain, but you know, if people weren't different, then where would we be? Thats the great thing about friendship, although we have our likes and dislikes about eachother, we still care enough about eachother to ignore the bad and love the good!"

I was astonished. Someone who I have been through hell and back with still finds it in her to love me today after everything said and done to eachother.

I realize that I do need to work on some of those things, but at the same time, I am me...

And that's the best part about myself.