A Queer New Year

Hello everyone!

Well It's officially 2007. I don't know about all of you, but I'm ready for a great Queer New Year. (p.s. don't you just LOVE my new year's outfit? I'm doing a pose of something you'll never see me do in real life *chuckle*)

This past year has been one of confusion, hurt, sadness, but also of happiness, joy and contentment. But it is with gladness that I look upon the year ahead.

Before I'd always hear people talking about how New Years was a fresh start for them; a clean slate. I never really understood what they meant about that. I always kept thinking about how that isn't true, and that their lives are ongoing still from last year and that just one day doesn't change that.

But now I realize, I've never had a purpose or reason to view new years like that until now. What is it that's different you wonder? Well a lot of thing really. I'm older for one thing, and for another a lot has happened to me since the beginning of last year. My mother has gone to afghanistan, my sister back to college, and I've started the journey of weight loss not long ago. Of course the holidays has made sure that my schedule has been set back a little but I don't mind it.

So upon celebration of new year's eve I was laying in my bed and reflecting on my life. There's so much I can do, so much I've said I would do and maybe before it hadn't meant anything to me, but with the crisis of my life that happened a few months earlier and with the knowledge that my mother could die in a foreign country at anytime (god forbid) I've decided to make this year mean something to me.

Except I'm doing it in a way that tottally re-invents myself to be exactly who I want ME to be. No more talk, I'm acting on things now. I'm going to lose weight for one...well continue to do so, more thoroughly and whole-heartedly. I'm also trying to teach myself some responsibility by getting a job, and I'm going to try and help out my dad some more. Yes you heard me correctly, even though I have no relationship whatsoever to speak of with him, besides the fact that he fathered me, I'm going to start trying to at least attempt to better our relationship.

If it doesn't work out, I'm going to college in about a year anyway, so it won't matter then. I'm also trying to better myself as a person, or at least be more the person I am, then the one I've tried to be. Meaning...I'm going to BE who I am rather than be the person I was while waiting to 'discover' who I am. Beacuse I believe that (at least for me) there's no ''finding'' myself, there's inventing myself. There's ''being'' myself. and that's not what I've been doing. *Sigh* I know you probably don't get what I'm talking about, but I do, and that's what matters.

In conclusion, let me just say, it's a new year, and I'm ready for it.
So bring it on.

That's all.

Signed,

A fabulous Gay Man,

Queen Trixie J.D. the First